At Her Side
The contents of the bookshelf in my room range from the utilitarian to the eclectic. I’ve got pulp-fiction novels, classics from Moby Dick to A Clockwork Orange, college guides, AP Course study books, and a full collection of Calvin and Hobbes books. It’s pretty much a typical lineup for the college-bound, semi-cynical teenager except for one thin, battered hardcover book: Sesame Street Teaches Sign Language.
My mother has been deaf since her birth, and all my life I have been acutely aware of the affect it’s had on her. She started teaching me to sign while I was a baby, and as soon as I could read she got me the unforgettable Sesame Street book full of signs like “turtle”, “cookie”, and “school bus”. Soon I was communicating with her in ASL. At an early age, I recognized the frustration she sometimes showed at being misunderstood and I was happy to help in any way I could. She would take me to the playground to play with the children of hearing mothers, and she made several friends among the women there. However, her friendships seemed blocked by an invisible barrier of communication. Getting conservative suburban mothers to speak to her through the relay service became an insurmountable obstacle, and her deaf voice sometimes attracted stares.
My relationship with my mother has been a unique one, if not always easy. While I was in elementary school, I was her almost constant companion. I served as her personal interpreter at the supermarket, at school plays, at doctor appointments. I didn’t mind-I felt like it was expected of me and I liked being with my mom. This began to change, however, when I started junior high school. I wanted to be more independent, and all of a sudden my time was spent more with friends than with my mother. At school plays and events I became too self-conscious to stand in the front of the auditorium to interpret-I insisted on doing it from my seat next to my mother. Soon, as my personal life became full of the typical adolescent issues, I avoided her probing questions with simple answers. I was old enough to want to move away from my mother’s side, but too young to see the pain it caused her. When my friends came over, I found myself apologizing for her loudness or the way she demanded my attention. I saw normally talkative and outgoing friends silenced by my mother’s deaf voice, and I didn’t understand it. Part of me was angry with my friends for their fear, and part of me blamed my mother.
Because of my brother’s youth and my father’s constant occupation with work, my mother had relied on me for support as the person she could talk to. It has been hard for her, as she is the sold deaf person in a hearing family. She couldn’t turn to her deaf friends, because most of them lived far away or had slipped out of touch. I was lost in my schoolwork and my newfound friends. Early in high school, our relationship was marked my tension. My mother’s little boy was growing up and she didn’t know what to do about it.
Finally, while I was in junior year, my mother took things into her own hands. Joining a group called Hands On, she began receiving tickets to sign-interpreted Broadway performances. I rediscovered the joy of sitting and laughing with my mother as we rode the train into Manhattan for plays like Rent, The Seagull, and The Rainmaker. While I could never again be her constant companion, I again started accompanying her as interpreter. When my father was unable to attend parent-teacher conferences at my school, for example, I sat in as interpreter on my own evaluations. It was awkward at times, especially when the teachers chastised me for being too talkative in class. Most of the time, though, my mother was delighted about learning about my life. I re-discovered the joy of seeing pride in her eyes.
I feel I have a greater sensitivity to and understanding of physical handicap. I understand the difficulties a deaf person can be faced with, but my mother showed me that deafness is no excuse not to succeed in life. A deaf person can do nearly all the things a hearing person can, with a little more work. Helping deaf children overcome their early learning difficulties have become an interest of mine. This year, I have tutored two deaf boys in reading and writing, helping them to catch up to their hearing classmates. Because I’ve seen my mother struggle with language as an adult, I’ve tried to help these kids master language at an early age.
As a freshman at Harvard this fall, I will be taking the broadest range of liberal arts classes I can. Right now, I’m considering majoring in sociology where I can study such fascinating issues as deaf culture. I will likely be pursuing Advanced Standing at Harvard, due to my AP course credit, which will allow me to graduate in three years and use the fourth to get a masters degree. This will enable me to avoid the financial burden of graduate school and free me to move on with my life. After college, I plan to join the Peace Corps and serve for two years before moving on to international journalism. My fluency in sigh language and communicating with the deaf will give me an opportunity to seek out the deaf individuals in developing nations, who enjoy little of the aid that the American deaf community receives. I’m very interested in discovering how the deaf function in other societies, and helping them if need be. This fall, I’ll be leaving for college to meet my future. True, I will be hours away and very far from my mom’s watchful eye. However, in a way, I’ll still be by her side the whole time. The lessons she’s taught me – tolerance, understanding, and perseverance – will be my companions for the next four years. I’ll still journey home whenever I can to see the familiar gleam of pride in her eyes.
Mr. Mohammed graduated from Floral Park Memorial High School in NY. Michael will attend Harvard University in the fall. His plans include majoring in Sociology so he can study Deaf Culture. He is a National Merit Finalist and winner of the Fairfield University Book Award. Michael has been a delegate to the United Nations since 8th grade. He received the Best Delegate Model from Harvard and Georgetown. He is on the school newspaper and is a member of the National Honor Society. During the summer he has volunteered to work in South Dakota with native Americans and has worked at the Helen Keller Society. In his spare time he tutors Deaf children and works part time in a local Architecture firm. I quote from one of his letters:
“At the risk of making him sound too good to be true, I must nevertheless tell you that Michael is an outstanding young man. He is naturally curious, always seeking knowledge and striving to know more, but always sharing what he knows. He thinks “our of the box” he thinks of new ways of doing things, he thinks of new ways of expressing old ideas.”
