Learning how to Listen
My mom was certain I could hear when I was a little over a year old. I was playing in the yard, and an airplane flew overhead a great distance away. I looked up and it and I signed, Airplane! Airplane! After that, there was to be no more hearing and speech tests for little Aimee.
I have grown up under the guidance of two totally deaf parents. They taught me sign language from the time I was born, and I learned to speak by way of hearing relatives and Sesame Street. I never knew my parents were “different” until pre-school, when my class was asked to signal the number three with our hands. I looked around, staring at my classmates’ chubby fingers. Why are they signing ‘w’? I wondered. At that moment, I began to realize just how extraordinary my parents were.
The Deaf Festival, an annual event held in northern Indiana, is quite a spectacle to behold, especially for those unaffiliated with deaf culture. Scores of hands move about faster than light itself, and a man standing at one end of the hallway carries on a conversation with a woman at the other end. (I always like to ‘eavesdrop’ so I can figure out who is talking to whom.) An equally intriguing phenomenon, however, is the assembly of onlookers who stare at the deaf as if the hearing impaired were not of this planet. Perhaps deafness is alien to some, but I’ve never been able to sympathize with those who say with a look of deep concern, Oh, your parents can’t hear? I’m so sorry.
An experience from my youth I will never forget is a visit at the Steak N Shake drive-through. I was probably about eight or nine years old, and by then I was used to interpreting for my parents – which included ordering at restaurants. On this particular day, I had ordered steakburgers and the like for my family, but instead of receiving the standard drive around for your total, please response from the cashier, this drive-through operator laughed. I was a little embarrassed that he had found so much amusement in this, and he just increased my humiliation by chuckling, okay, kid, ride your bike around. The blush on my face was succeeded only by his deeper shade of red when he saw our family minivan barreling around the corner!
I’ll never regret what I’ve learned from my mom and dad, and I’ll always be thankful they exposed me to a unique culture and opened my eyes to what their ears couldn’t hear. Because I knew how it felt to be stared at, I accepted others who were different. Because I had to interpret for my parents at a young age, I learned how to communicate effectively. Perhaps the people who pitied me just didn’t see it that way.
As a child, I wanted to hold a variety of professions when I grew up. Among these career possibilities were prima ballerina, teacher, author, and jockey. (I don’t know how I got that idea – we had no horses.) Eventually, however, I settled on child psychologist, I began to realize that as a psychologist, I could put my open mind and communication skills to work. I enjoy studying people. I’m like those who sit on benches and people watch at the mall. As for communication, suppose I had a deaf client? No problem there.
As a psychologist, I want to delve into the depths of my patient’s personalities and find what makes them tick. Primarily, I want to make a difference. I’m not going to give a Miss America speech and say I want world peace; I truly want to make an impact on someone’s life, no matter how small. If my patients should only remember me as Dr. What’s-Her-Name, I’ll still be satisfied. My goal is to reach people as children, when they are young enough that any damage is still fresh, not a permanent scar. Emotionally and mentally healthy children grow into healthy parents who, in turn, have healthy children. Here is where I will be able to say with a grin, I made a difference.
My parents may not have taught me how to hear, but they taught me how to listen. My mom and dad, and their culture, helped me learn that an open mind is the greatest tool to understanding others. Under my parent’s guidance, I also developed communication skills that will last a lifetime. Some may feel sympathy when I tell them of my parents, but in fact, I feel sympathy for them. They have no idea what they’re missing.
Ms. Smith graduated from the Cowan Jr-Sr. High School in Muncie, Indiana. She plans to attend the Purdue University in Lafayette, Ind. and will major in psychology. She plans to become a child psychologist. Aimee has won other scholarships and placed 2nd two years in a row in school wide writing contest. She has maintained an A average in every course during her 4 years in high school. She was named most outstanding student in 3 of her 4 years. She participated in numerous clubs, the High School newsletter, and the National Honor Society. After school she has worked since 2000 at a local supermarket. I quote from one of her letters:
“Aimee represents all that is quality. Her attitude and distinguished character make her a role model not only for her peers, but also for anyone of us who know her. She excels beyond her years, a mature and prominent notable of who’s who in American youth.”
